Tuesday, August 4, 2015

An encounter with dinosaurs

Today andie was having one of those days where doing chores is too hot and reading books is too boring and you don't really want to do anything but sit around eating otter pops. But just sitting there gives you ants in your pants. In a desperate attempt to amuse herself she wandered down to Rylan's room.
"RYLAN!"


"mm-hmm?"
"I implore thee to rescue thy greatest friend from the clutches of boredom! For if I am not delivered from the mundane with in the next- sayyyyy 5 minutes, I shall surely perish!"

She plopped herself dramatically on the floor and hugged the pillow.
"Help me, obi wan keRylan, you're my only hope."

Playing along with the dramatic little shtick, Rylan leaped up on the bed. "Egad, woman! It seems you are not as intelligent as I once perceived, for the solution to your plight lays before your very eyes! Us earthlings like to call it imagination."
Andie snorted. "yeah, that old thing short-circuited a while back. Its still in the shop, last I checked."
That comment left Rylan nothing to do but use her You Do What I Say squint. It was pretty effective, and caused Andie to start scanning the room for interesting things to imagine about.

Her eyes landed on Mini Addy and Florence The Gender-Ambivalent Plastic Dragon.

"You wanna play D&D?" She asked. (Third Person Omniscient Narrator coming through! Make way, people, make way! *Clambers up on stage* *adjusts tie* I would like to remind you all that Dollworld works a bit differently. My dolls can use telekinesis, as you have already seen, and D&D is not the popular online role-play game, but a sort of... living room game to be played with friends and siblings. D&D is for Dolls And Dinosaurs-or Dragons, if that happens to be the case.)  
"Sure. Go fetch your sister and I'll be right out."

They met on the table on the back deck.

Those who were present included Lilly's doll Lottie, Andie's doll Kendra, the newest dinosaur, Francis, 

 then there's Addy, whom Rylan got just last month and is very proud of, and Florence The Gender Ambivalent Plastic Dragon.

The girls started their story with Lottie and Kendra going for a walk in the rose garden. It was going rather well, considering that lottie's arms were always stuck in airplane mode and were therefore liable to get scratched on rose thorns.

Suddenly a girl wearing very old-fashioned clothes crashed through the bushes, panting.
"Excuse me, could you tell me what year it is?" she queried.
Lottie was unfazed by this question due to dealing with crazy sisters and tv shows. "2015." she answered promptly.
"Alrighty then, have you seen any rampaging dinosaurs near here, have you?"  But before Kendra of Lottie could answer, she muttered "No, I don't suppose you have..." and listened closely frowning. "uh oh. move"
"what?"
"MOVE"

They hit the ground just in time before the dinosaur galumped through the same hole in the bushes that the old-fashioned-clothes girl did, roaring confusedly and snuffling at the ground with the same urgency one has when looking for a bathroom after a three hour car ride with a venti iced coffee.

It stumped away, not having found whatever it was looking for, be it a bathroom, food or otherwise. The point is, it wasn't interested in eating or stepping on any teenage girls.

With the dinosaur gone, the girl in the blue dress thought it would be a good time to have one of those classic explain-all-the-action-that-just-happened-in-that-last-scene sessions, and would have done it all in interpretive dance, if only her knees and elbows would bend. But an entirely vinyl mini doll has no such luxuries, so verbal communication was really the only way to go.
To save you all that rigamarole, I kindly put all details into list form for your reading pleasure.
  • The blue dress girl was named Addy (which you already knew, but Kendra and Lottie didn't, and the whole clarification session is for them, not you, you impatient nincompoop.)
  • She time travels and had just visited the time of the dinosaurs. If I knew what kind of dinosaur that just barged through was called, I could tell you what period she had visited, but I don't, so I won't.
  • The dinosaur escaped through her portal. 
  • The dinosaur's name is Francis.
  • Mini Addy is a darn fine time traveler and doesn't need no Tardis to transport her 'round time and space.
  • Yeah that's right. She makes portals.
  • I honestly have no idea why she wound up in 2015. Go ask her yourself if you're so interested.
~~~~~~~~

"So when does Florence The Gender Ambivalent Plastic Dragon come in?"
"In a minute, just hold on."
"Impatient nincompoop."

~~~~~~~~

Addy whistled and Kendra could hear a small thumping of paws behind her head.

"Holy mother of nachos, it's so cute!" Kendra exclaimed when a small dragon hopped into Addy's lap.
"Isn't she though? I got it in the depths of an alternate universe called Cole's Room, which translates roughly to "black hole where random junk gets crushed and shuffled out of existence beneath a structure commonly referred to as a bed."

"I'm going to make it blueberry pancakes!"

~~~~~~

Andie and Rylan turned to look at Lilly.

If you know how the power of Shun works, what happened just now is sort of like Shun, in that it produces the same effect, but the methods of achieving it are the exact opposite. (there are varying degrees of offenses that require Shun or it's opposite, and this case was very mild, only saying "'Scuse me, hun? Why are you mentioning blueberry pancakes while we're trying to write a story here?")

~~~~~~

Getting back to the mini dolls, Addy was trying to convince Lottie and Kendra that they needed to find Francis and send him back to dinosaurland or whatever you call it. The convincing went over fairly easy in Kendra's part, as she was always up for a good game chase the misplaced dinosaur. (it's really quite enjoyable. Great exercise.) But Lottie didn't think so. Not very much, anyway.

In the distance a roar was heard as if Francis knew they were talking about him.

~~~~~~

"Hang on, they're going to go go after a rouge dinosaur? Do they have a plan of attack? Are they armed? Will they use physical force or trickery?"

"Addy is the most badass time traveler you ever met. She'll take down that dinosaur with her pinkie finger.

~~~~~

So Kendra and Addy hacked their way through the bushes, following the trail of heavy footprints.

~~~~~~~

"Eww, something smells like dog poop."

"That's dinosaur poop, get your facts straight!"

~~~~~

Soon they happened upon a large pile of rocks where the rogue was standing conveniently obvious, roaring his presence to his unexplored world.

RRAAAAWWRRRRRAAARRRWRRARARRRARTRARRARRTAAOOOOOP.
"we have him precisely where we want him!"Addy removed a key fob from her pocket that looked suspiciously like a garage door opener, and pressed the big red button.

There was a ZZHWOOOMP noise as a portal opened up beneath the great lizzard of death.
"That looks more like a peanuts container than a portal to the time of the dinosaurs to me." Lottie mentioned.
"Oh hush, it's bait!"

Francis fell into the bait.

the portal closed

and then was gone with a sharp POP.

Addy, Lottie, and Kendra celebrated their victory bu looking lethargic and tilting slightly to the side. It is very difficult to express joy when your face is permanently fixed in Neutral.

And then Florence breathed some fire like the cute dog barking at the end of a cheesy sitcom.

~~~~~~~~

"You shouldn't be eating the stuff that's in the portal. You don't know where it's been! Plus: dinosaur germs."
"Psh, no way! Virtually unlimited peanuts, pulled from the far reaches of time and space!, and no one ever said that a couple dinosaur germs wont help your immune system."

"Pass me some, then, will you?"



Gwen

8 comments:

  1. I love your posts Gwen! Ah this story gave me the giggles in some parts :-) I wish I was a badass time traveller >.<
    -Lydia
    http://dollyfernfriends.blogspot.co.nz

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    Replies
    1. We could all be badass time travelers if only we would pay attention in history. I have a bit of trouble with that.

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  2. The dragon (and dinosaur!) makes a return! I just ate pancakes but no blueberries :( That was a great way to defeat boredom.

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    Replies
    1. Florence would like to share those pancakes with you, if you don't mind. He'll bring his own blueberries.

      Delete
  3. Awwwwwww.
    I don't know what I'm even awwwwwing about but still.
    Also "'Scuse me, hun?" is the best thing ever.

    - Ellie

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  4. This post is great. I love the dinosaur and the dragon.
    -Shannon

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  5. Gwen, I LOVED this! All your posts are so funny and creative! :)
    ~Emily

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I love getting comments! <3 And sometimes I even remember to reply ;P